Adventures in the ER!

2013-12-19

Let me apologize to all my friends who are nurses, i’m sure the urine pun is “old hat” for you! haha OLD HAT!?  (cause Sephie is wearing an old nurse’s hat!?  pun central!)

Good news, everyone!  my leg isn’t broken.  You didn’t know that was a possibility, you say?  oh, it is.  Anything is possible!  what a magical world.  Last night, in the ER from about 9:30 until 12:00, let me tell you, Diana and I experienced some magic.
Also, no baby yet.

OK!  So I met a man who was born A YEAR overdue.  a YEAR.  Hard to believe?  NOPE it’s actually SUPER common!  OR, at least, it would be, if I were to believe even for a second a 100% drunk man and his wife, who was so obviously trying her luck at getting morphine (or something similar) from the doctors.  We sat beside them for the whole 2.5 hours we were there, and it was one of the most patience-trying experiences of my ENTIRE life.  You might even say those patients tried my patience.  I’m on FIRE today!  BAD PUNS ABOUND!  …Between their government conspiracies,  their complaining about the Canadian health-care system, their completely untrue yet graphic re-tellings of life events (the guy fell off a 10 story building into a garbage bin, and he was thankful he wasn’t wearing a safety line cause THAT would have killed him, obviously), their OBNOXIOUSLY prying small-talk, their constant threats to sue the hospital for making them wait so long, and their constant “hey lady, you got any coffee around here?  i need some coffee”…  It took everything in me not to limp over to a different, more-quiet corner of the ER waiting room.

Anyways!  i’d like to say it made the waiting fly by, as it’s kind of funny recalling it… but the truth is, that was one of the longest 2.5 hours of my life.  …though, when Diana goes into labour, i’m sure i’ll have a new standard to measure how slow time can move.

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